Finally… after days of being stuck, I’ve figured out what it is I need to be doing. And why.
I’ve recently had this cloud over me. Or maybe fog around me would be more accurate. And it isn’t around all of me, just part of me.
My family is absolutely wonderful… my running and cross training is excellent. But the stuff I love to do, my “job”, well I haven’t been able to get certain projects finished. I’m busy yes; I’m actually always busy. And I’ve kept busy… that isn’t the problem (as there is always something to do). But the BIG things I need to finish and get off to the printer, well I just haven’t been able to find the creative flow within my world to figure out how to do them. And in my little world of design and creating things, that can be a problem!
What is it that I do? I create graphics and media for my church. Pretty much anything and everything visual; it’s my job (ministry) to do it! If you’d search our church website, what I do is described as this: “if you’ve seen something visually or artistically cool at The Summit, smart money is that she had her hand in it”. I LOVE that!
And I’m ready to get back to that. But you see, the person who opened my heart and held open this door for me isn’t able to be here with me. She’s been fighting cancer and other very serious issues off and on for the past 19 months. While she has been undergoing treatments, we’ve always been able to be in constant communications, that is just how we worked. But recently her condition has become more serious and I’ve come to realize that I’m not sure when she will be back. So while I’ve tried to adjust to that realization, it has been really, really hard to rationalize us not exchanging tons of emails to brainstorm ideas, have her available to offer loving support, and yes sometimes even expect the “it’s not quite the direction we want” look on her face.
But today I finally figured out it isn’t about ME at all. You see church work is different from the corporate world, or even non-profits for that matter. Yes it is still a business and must be managed that way. BUT… church work is about something much bigger than you or I. It is about bringing people closer to God. We are trying to move people to Love God, Learn from Jesus, and Live for Others. In my pastor’s eNews this week he mentions “it is essential WE be about OUR Father’s business”. And that is when it hit me. “It”, [what I do] isn’t about ME. It isn’t about my lists of things to do (and I have a lot of those lists!) It is about creating something that will have such an impact on that one person who is looking for some connection to bring them to God. Whether it is through promotions for a 5/10K run, our children’s programming, a mission trip, our next worship series, or an upcoming women’s retreat…. I am doing work for my Father and I need to be intentional in getting HIS message to those who need it the most…
So today I’m thankful for the grace and family that surrounds me and am looking forward to all of those artistically cool things I have the privilege of designing over the next few days, hoping maybe just one of them will be what opens someone’s heart for God.